You probably experienced this before, when she says something that makes sense but then does something else, or when she seems nice as if she’s interested in you but is always busy and never has time to see you. She says she wants to see you, but every time you set a date, she comes up with an excuse. These are some of the things women do that keep men wondering and scratching their heads, thinking, “but she said she wants to see me.”
For us men, this is confusing, since we are very logical. We communicate as if we’re giving commands, and we understand communication the same way. We try to find logic and reason in every message or conversation so we can understand what it means. In some ways, we’re like dogs, trained to respond to signals we’ve been taught to recognize. Women, on the other hand, are much more subtle in their communication.
You always need to read between the lines when you are communicating with a woman you are interested in, and watch what they do instead of what they say. Oftentimes, their actions reveal their true intentions.
A Real Example
Here is one example:
I was going out with this girl who seemed to like me. We had a few dates and a good time together. Things were going well, but we were not exclusive, so I was also dating other women. One day I texted her to set another date and she gave me a vague, but a response that made sense, she said that she has a very busy schedule now at work, and not sure when she will have time to meet. About a week later, I found out that she had seen me with another woman, which apparently she didn’t like, and decided to stop seeing me.
Now, she could have said something like:
I don’t think I want to go out with you again because I saw you with someone else.
That would have been logical, and I would know exactly why she didn’t want to see me anymore.
Well, the meaning of her text was actually this:
I really don’t think I should go out with you again. My attraction has dropped, and I’m not feeling it anymore. I don’t want to say it directly, so I hope you understand the cue and don’t text me again.
So, she took a safe, subtle way of declining my proposed date and hoped I would understand. I never reached out to her again and let her be. And guess what? She reached out a few weeks later. If I had kept pushing and asking for an explanation, she would have completely disappeared, and I would have lost my chance to see her again. But most guys won’t give up that easily and would probably blow up her phone asking why she wouldn’t see them.
Why Women Communicate This Way
I think it’s us men who trained women to be subtle in their communication and not reject us straight to our face. It’s probably because many men simply don’t take no for an answer and can get angry, even start shouting or become aggressive when they hear that the woman they’re interested in doesn’t want anything to do with them.
Since men are generally physically stronger and can pose a threat, women tend to let them down gently, hoping he will get the underline meaning of her message and leave her alone.
Over time, they’ve developed subtle communication skills that avoid directly hurting men’s feelings, avoid outright rejection, and keep situations safe.
Another reason is that women, in general, are more compassionate, empathetic, and emotionally aware than men. They might feel bad about hurting someone’s feelings, so they take the safer route, saying something that makes sense but doesn’t necessarily convey what they truly mean.
Even Your Female Friends Do This
For example, when you ask a female friend for an opinion about a girl you like, she might say something like:
Oh, maybe she’s not ready yet
She’ll come back; you just need to be patient
The truth is more likely that she has no interest in you, and you should move on. But your friend knows that telling you this outright might hurt your feelings, so instead she says what you want to hear—something that makes sense but doesn’t really help your situation.
How to Read Her Signals
Another thing to keep in mind when dating a woman is that you have to pay attention to her body language and the subtle ways she expresses her feelings and emotions, so you can gauge her attraction to you.
Very rarely women will come out straight and tell you that they like you and want to take you out, kiss you etc. They are conditioned to give these little signs, and leave it up to you to interpret them and make a move when necessary.
When she likes you, it usually shows in small ways. She laughs at your not so funny jokes, talks about herself with energy, asks personal questions, keeps open body language, and finds small ways to touch you, like your arm or shoulder. These are all signs that she feels comfortable around you, and you can slowly escalate things.
When she’s not interested, the opposite tends to happen. She sits farther away, her body faces another direction, her posture is closed off, and the conversation feels dry. She might check her phone often or seem distracted. In those moments, it’s better to pull back instead of pushing forward.
Most Men Miss This Completely
Most men have no clue how to read these signals, and it always amazes me. I find it fascinating to watch couples on dates. Sometimes I go out for dinner and see a couple at the bar—a guy keeps talking and talking, while the girl seems shrunk in her seat, uncomfortable. Then he leans in and tries to touch her while she’s trying to pull away.
To me, these things are obvious, but unfortunately most men don’t understand them and don’t know how to read women, because no one teaches this in schools, universities, or anywhere else.
When She’s Angry (And You Don’t Know Why)
Another situation that shows how women don’t communicate logically like men, is when your girlfriend or wife is angry and getting pissed at everything you say or do.
For example, you might be at home, watching TV and everything seems fine but all the sudden she start complaining:
You never wash your plates
You never take the trash out
You always throw your clothes on the floor
Then you go ahead and fix all those things.
An hour later, she comes back with something else she’s not happy with.
The reason she’s shouting and complaining is not the dirty clothes or dishes. It’s because she’s mad at something you did earlier. She wants you to acknowledge it, apologize, and fix the real issue.
In this case, you’d better shut down the TV and start communicating. Ask what’s bothering her, why she’s feeling that way, and if something happened earlier. Depending on the woman, this might take time, but you must address it before it gets worse.
Final Thought
It’s all about small, sometimes unnoticeable signals and cues that are more important in women’s communication than the words they actually say.
For us logically driven men, it’s hard to understand things unless they’re said directly. However, if you train yourself to observe her actions, listen carefully, and watch her body language, you’ll discover a whole new world of communication with women.
It’s fascinating how much they say without words.